Oh boy, how the Universe swoops in to assist when you are on the right path.
I read a mission statement I wrote for improved health and well being at the end of March and was surprised to be right on task almost 3 months later. I wanted to feed the family and self far more vital, alive foods. We are eating far more fruits and vegetables, maybe even doubled our produce. We’re like large rabbits at this point.
I wanted to be online less and reading more. Interestingly enough, my glasses specific to reading the laptop all broke or vanished and I’m left with only readers perfect for books. I struggle even now typing this as I have to sit very close. It doesn’t help that my laptop has had a couple coffee spills recently and one such incedent took out the left shift button. And if you think the left shift button doesn’t matter much, try typing a lot without it. Not a crippling situation, obviously, but it is a pain in the rear.
I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately. So many good movies that get me thinking about life and how things work in this mystical life. Not the life part where we get up, brush teeth, go to work, talk to people. The world that comes from within and the unseen world we live with all the time and don’t pay attention to.
What I’ve learned from movies such as Blue Miracle (Netflix)
I’ll wait for you to watch the trailer and then you’ll know what I’m talking about.
This movie reminded me of all the times I thought things were going horribly wrong and what was truly happening was that I was being put in better, and better situations. Some things needed to be destroyed to build a new existence and some hardships built such inner strength that paid off for years to come.
Then we have Hello, Dolly! That is just for a feel good, raise your vibration time. Ah, but it also reminds me that being cheerful, positive and friendly gets one much farther in all things.
I see a pattern and it goes like this; I have no control over much of anything, perhaps nothing at all, but I keep valliantly trying. Giving up control is a relief. Trying to gain control is frustrating. The underlying powers of all that is Universal, right down to our personal lives seems to have a wisdom beyond my ability to comprehend in my small human form. I’m beginning to really like the idea and action of letting go and letting the Powers that be do the thinking and planning.
All I have to do is be quiet so I can hear the next step and follow it. And following gets easier once the faith is there that this is the best route no matter how it looks at times or in the beginning.
We are working on getting offline for most of our days. We loved being online and watching videos on YouTube. We love TV, movies, mini series, documentaries! We aren’t giving that up. We are giving up online stuff. It started a week ago when I put the boys old laptop and chrome book away. One of them was in trouble but I can’t remember which child it was, nor do I remember the crime. I should probably keep some captains log to remember why my son or son’s are grounded. Anyhow, the putting away of computers spurned an experiment. Summer time is perfect for experiments.
We can watch movies, documentaries (if positive and packed with solutions), mini series, and shows a plenty. We can read books a plenty. We are prohibited to anything connecting us to the outside world. Online, that is. We still go out and talk to people. But I’m curious what will happen with a summer without any or small amounts of online influence.
A few things got me a pondering. When Sam and I take walks in the woods, he goes on and on about YouTube characters as if they live next door but he doesn’t talk about people in our real life. Arjan knows a little too much of what goes on with laws and injustice all the sudden because he gets online and researches everything. I’m effected by everything. Add menopause. Good times. So, what if we take it all away except the good parts; anything positive, up lifting, happy. But mostly music and nature, so we could practice being present in the moment.
It’s only been a few days, however, life feels like it used to. Those warm, aged photos of dear memories with family, maybe a sun beam…that is how it feels lately. There is no monkey mind from what I took in online or outside influences, no global thoughts because there was an add on the side of my email or a glimpse of daily, upsetting news popping up while I read an article. No being distracted for hours and coming up for a look around to only wonder how you managed to get sucked into hours of stuff you didn’t even care about, sort of but, you probably got your answer with in five minutes.
Internet is not the only thing being shut down for the summer. Visitors are filtered, phone calls are screened. I’m choosy about where I shop for groceries, I just go by feelings. Does it feel good to be here? Do I feel good when deciding to go there? Do I feel good or happy when with this person or persons? I tell you, when you tune in, it is incredible to realize how you honestly felt about everything! And so freeing when you don’t make a big fuss about it all anymore and just get right to the honest point. No, I don’t like being around that person, they bring me down and it last for hours, sometimes days of toxic thoughts that were implanted from letting them talk and share. No, I get nervous in that store, I like it but I just don’t like driving to that part of the town or it just feels too crowded. Yes, I want to shop for ingredients at that store, I love it there. The people are fun and they have everything I need. It goes on like that. There is no rhyme nor reason sometimes, just a gut feeling. Sometimes, I’m just happy somewhere and that is all I need to know.
I keep letting go, letting go, letting go, echo, echo, echo…but truly, life is nice right now.
As many of you read before, I’ve stopped working on my channel with YouTube. It was not out of anything negative, maybe a little turned off from the whole scene, but mostly it was just one night I knew I was done for sure. I had more fun on that channel than bad times. The community, some of you are here now, was something else. We were a different crowd and I loved that. I made money, sometimes enough for the electric, water, garbage, and groceries. That is nothing to balk at. We have too much, us Americans. We charge it and have instant joy…until we have debt and that joy is replaced with many nights staring at the ceiling wondering if you may or may not have a stroke from daily anxiety.
To receive a payment that the covers utilities and restocks the pantry is such a gift. You can have lights, and wash clothes, bath, water a garden, have AC in the hot summers and warmth in the cold winters, and keep the yard clean by having your garbage hauled away. On top of that, you will have nutritious meals daily. These are taken for granted in this day and age.
Since giving up everything but my daily home life it has been a surprise. I feel mellow and move methodically through the day doing chores slowly. Why hurry? My schedule is wide open. Sam suggested a long walk the other day and we lathered on the sunscreen, loaded up water and trail snacks, and were on the trail with in 30 minutes. We spend four hours wandering the forest, playing, talking, having breakfast on a fallen tree. The day before we had Fathers Day. I was up early brewing coffee, throwing ingredients in the bread maker, watering the garden with the pool water, walking dogs, making a breakfast of fresh bread and melon, and making beds. We bar b que’d and ate all sorts of summer veggies, some from our garden, some not.
The day before that I woke up thinking I would be bored that day, that we should do something fun away from the house. We wound up filling the cloth pool I found free online and it is a fantastic pool for kids. Big enough but not too big. I put the umbrellas around it to create some shade, the neighbor gave me a bench she was getting rid of that morning for pool side and lathered on the sunscreen. Good thing because Arjan and Sam played in there all day! I had my own fun and cleaned the house all day, made bread, cooked wonderful things such as smoothies with kale from our garden, French bread, melon, grapes, Soyrizo and tofu scramble with sautéed onions, and salad.
My days used to be coffee and laptop, some time with boys talking, breakfast, laptop work or getting sucked into videos, filming, editing, uploading, chores later in the day, laptop work and wasting time online, dinner, movie, some online, night routine…you know, not in exact order and maybe exaggerated or not.
Now it feels very meditative. Wake (obviously), pull open curtains, turn on fans to circulate all that cool night and early morning air before it gets hot. Brew coffee, brush teeth, drink a jar of water, feed dogs, let dogs out, have coffee with a book, cuddle with children as they rise, watch some cartoons with them, talk, read my Wayne Dyer Tao book, make breakfast of fruit and hearty bread, dress for the day, wash dishes, make beds, sweep floors, maybe water garden and/or fruit trees. I’ve been watering night and day with the buckets of water from the pool and that is a work out! That is all I’ll say.
I clean for hours. I have found that a tooth brush is one of those overlooked treasures when cleaning an old house. There are layers to the base boards and cracks and crevices everywhere. I’ve been pulling out the stove, fridge, kitchen cupboard, and everything that I can move. I vacuum, sweep and scrub the floors and walls behind these. A big bucket of hot detergent water goes everywhere with me as I wash walls, scrub base boards with brushes and rags. I wash down furniture, wash rugs, wash windows, shampoo the big area rug, and wash dog beds and bowls. I have been on a deep cleaning spree for days.
We did our big library book order and I have ordered some big, fat Stephen King novels. They help me reset the mind space. We leave the world of frugality and homemaking and enter the world of weirdness for over a thousand pages. They also give me the nostalgia from the 80’s when life was unplugged naturally.
I make dishes and snacks all day. It is just part of the life we live. I spend more than half of my days in the kitchen making food, prepping food, planning menus, making list of ingredients.
And the garden, I just love it this year but we can do better next year. I’ll have photos next blog. I’m having issues with my blue berry and apricot tree and I can’t figure it out. Too much water, not enough, too acidic, not enough?
But I’m here and present. I didn’t know how much I missed it.