Letting go of media. Goodbye YouTube.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

As we get deeper into summer and I find my laptop under the couch more often and waiting eagerly for it to cool in the evenings for my walks alone with Molly, I’m having some revelations. The other night I had this dream that I was standing on a desert at night. There was thunder and lightening, suddenly a huge bolt of lightening hit the earth in front of me beginning to split the ground. I didn’t get it at first, but I get the meaning now. The desert represents a clear setting, one that is open to possibilities and waiting for direction, sowing of ideas and the building of new things…or it could just mean peace and calm within the mind. The thunder and lightening are all the disruptions. The bolt that split the ground represents our minds split when we have even the slightest addiction to something.

I’m like every other person out there with my love of being online. And there are many positives to online; research, learning new things or how to improve skills in old things. We need to be wise users, choosing what we watch so that it enhances knowledge and improves the quality of our lives. Many people are passive and just watch and scroll mindlessly, wasting hours, days, even their whole lives watching a screen. However, even when you are learning things, isn’t there a limit to how much you truly need to learn? How many frugal videos do you really need before you get what to do to save money and how many cooking videos can one absorb? Or home décor, gardening, zero waste, or what ever your thing is? Even the spiritual well being videos began to all sound the same. I could write scripts for all the fluffy self help and manifesting channels. I have the quotes memorized.

As many of you know, I have been heavily influenced by Esther Emery and her take on being off media completely. I read her book, What Falls From The Sky, and when she said she found her soul during her year off line, it stuck with me, repeating over and over in my head. I don’t know that I could go as hard core as she did, but as I practice more mindfulness, I’m more and more turned off from what I find online.

When you take some time off the computer or public TV then return, it feels shocking to the senses.

I am a YouTube creator and I’ve questioned my offerings on the channel for years. There is a lovely community and we have supported each other for so long. My title is vague, She’s Drinking Coffee. Can’t be anymore unclear about what I’m offering and I did that on purpose because I am just offering a glimpse at my world. My world is of a homemaker, a writer, creator, new gardener, lazy baker, mother, awkward homeschooler, seeker of spiritual inner workings, and above all one who wants deep healing and well being.

But I’m not teaching anything, just sharing and I would keep to that to be safe. I am also not doing anything new or original. On YouTube you have to either live in some wonderous land and do life differently, create drama and strife, or teach important skills, a traveler, or coming up with new skits constantly to keep the views coming. But everyone is doing that. You almost have to sell your soul and become something you aren’t.

I’m seeing a pattern with YouTube that is getting too weird for me. If you find something, say housecleaning…you will quickly find hundreds of channels doing it. Frugal channels have been multiplying by the minute and now they all title the videos “Extreme Frugal!” to get more views. And it works because you can see the hungry souls race over to the new channels to hear the same drill over and over and over and over….

I started watching the Russian villager channels. I loved watching them out in the country cooking outside over wood fires and harvesting potatoes. But guess what? There are hundreds of those channels now doing all the same stuff. You can see someone in Italy, Russia, Korea, and Mexico cooking over wood fires outside with chickens running around and surroundings made to look very rustic. There is a formula and once it proves popular everyone rushes to do it. Same back drops, even the same titles on videos, same actions, same back ground music.

I am doing all the same things that you can find on hundreds of other channels and done far more efficiently and with better lighting than on my little, funky channel. Cooking. Check. Cleaning sped up to modern tunes. Check. Talks on well being and manifesting. Check. Advice about frugality. Check. Grocery hauls. Check. I have nothing new. I am just having fun and having an on going conversation with everyone who visits. I was playing and enjoyed it.

But now, as I scroll through the vast library of channels on all the same topics I cover, I feel uninspired and a bit like a YouTube sheep just bleating and moving with the herd.

I was going to wait for a full summer to explore my feelings after some time weening myself from the habit of being online, however, I’m very clear in my soul that it is time to end it. I hang on because of the community and my wanting to please others. I did have some fun with this second channel. The royalties doubled, the channel was growing. These are very hard to pull the plug on. But I know that after this summer I will have nothing new to offer anyone. It will be the same thing but maybe different music. Even the writing topic has been milked and I don’t have much to say on that topic either.

I will not be returning to my YouTube channel. I will not even make a last video because it would be an excuse to drone on and on in a video one last time. I want to get off this laptop and go back to the old days before I started playing this game. It feels shallow and corporate these days. Everyone is doing the same formula, the same titles, the same sets. It is almost like a suburbia with the cookie cutter channels in various categories. I’m guilty of the same pattern.

And the desperate clawing for more subs, more views, more money! How many times do these channels truly think they have to remind us to “hit the subscribe button” and “smash that like button”? Do the creators really think this will make all the difference?! Anyone who watches YouTube knows were the hell these buttons are for goodness sakes!!

So, as you can hear in my tone it is time to walk away while I still feel kind and useful. I have come to the point of barely being able to stomach YouTube.

I will leave my channel up this time and I’ll leave this blog up, however, I can’t say what I’ll do with the blog, I can say the channel is complete in that I’ve offered all I have.

I will miss the community very much, I have received so much love and support and I want everyone to know that you all have inspired me and kept me company and motivated long after I ran out of fuel. I have kept every letter and every card anyone has sent me and my house is decorated with hand made gifts from you all. It is all of you that made it hard to leave, not the YouTube scene or money.

And the money, I’ll still make some royalties from views long after I’m gone. It will be a few hundred but that is enough to cover some nonprofits such as 8 Billion Trees, Tree Sisters, ASPCA, Positive News, and World Vision. If there is extra I will donate a chunk to causes such as UNICEF and Heifer Int. These are great causes.

I wish all of you the best possible life! Find your bliss and keep following that path.

Kate 💖☕😎☀📚

60 Comments

  1. I am SO proud of you. You are brave. You find your worth in the important things. You have inspired many. Kate, I also read Esther’s book the same time you did. Cheers to a life unplugged. I wish you all the best.

    Like

  2. I will miss your YT videos. I hope you continue with your blog postings. CindyJo

    Like

  3. Aaahhh…this feels a bit like finding out a wonderful neighbor is moving. I’m a little sad. I’ve enjoyed your content for years. Your perspective has been a gift for me though. I’m same age as you, perimenopause-induced anxiety has hit me like a ton of bricks. To me the outside world has gotten very ugly in recent years, the media is mostly a stressor, and even social media is soul crushing and an addiction for me. I find it all exhausting and none of it brings any joy to my life. Your constant nudges to abandon it and instead focus on my OWN LIFE is helpful. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. I wish you and your family well. I’m going to work hard to enjoy life in my own home too.

    Like

  4. Hi Kate, I will miss your channel, I’ve been watching your channel for over 2 years now and have binge watched your old channel. Just wanted to let you know that when you compare yourself to other frugal channels, I can tell you this one thing, that your channel is truly different and more genuine than any other channel I have tried watching. You have definitely shown us how to go from renting to working, saving up, Thrifting (which, honestly, I didn’t know about until I watched your channel.) being frugal, and purchasing your first and second property by doing everything yourself.Other channels like to show us a lot of gimmicky stuff. The so called frugal channels live in giant homes and are “frugal”, or they’ve come into an inheritance or the home/property was passed down to them from their great grandparents. I truly found that you’re the only channel that shows the truth about real life. From cooking to children and homeschooling to saving money, and living a plain simple life. And not those channels that show their children sitting in perfect white clothing, playing with their natural wooden toys. I often wonder, do these kids even move? The homes that these channels show are all white and really just remind me of an insane asylum. All white with no life. Everything is perfect down to the T and every single hour is meticulously planned. These channels are always changing to please their viewers by following current trends but your channel always stayed the same. Your channel was true and genuine and it showed. Finding an original and real channel on YouTube is very hard to come by and that’s what I loved about your channel is that you don’t wake up at 6am like a sleeping beauty with makeup already perfectly made on your face and float through your home on a cloud to go eat your organic nonGMO “frugal” $30 acia bowl. Well anyways, I’ll miss your channel and I wish the best for you and your family. Have a great summer! If you ever decide to update us, I’ll do a little dance.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This comment gave a me a wonderful laugh. There are some funky channels like mine out there, but we are the rare ones. I did love how rustic my channel was and I grew to appreciate what I offered. I just decided it was time to go do something else. I was having fun and then, almost overnight, I knew I was done. The YT world is something else, both good and bad. I want to just go back to being behind some writing and read books and withdraw from the mainstream to find that simple life again when I felt peaceful and content most of the time. I appreciate all the compliments and I sure will be posting here because it’s writing!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hey Kate! I’m chasing authenticity too. It’s what led me to my current teaching (study) path. I’ll miss your yt channel because in the past few years of watching you I have often just listened to your voice. You have been a friend in a way that I’ve listened to with headphones, when I’ve chucked my 2 kids in the pram and gone for a walk on a bad day, while at the gym, while cleaning. Your family pops into my head sometimes and I wonder if our kids would get on. Mostly I’ve appreciated the advice-yes It’s all repeated a lot but it’s like listening to an aunt or sister. And man has it helped me too. When I want to pass it on I say, “my Californian friend” to not sound like I’m quoting youtube lol. Sounds sad, but being isolated with kids and no family .. or even just people who vibe with you… you feel lonely-as you well know! You’ve been like the neighbour too far away. Love the mung bean soup, the stories about miss.., the doggies, and the house progression. Even your general vibe as a mum inspires me to be a better parent. But I don’t know if I’ll have time to read your blog. And I understand the media stuff. You’re right it is all samey and consumerist. Even if you had a yt where you were live and people just chatted with you that would be amazing. Too many weirdos I suppose. Anyway, I wish you and the boys all the best. Love “your Australian friend” georginavegan 🤗✌

    Like

  7. Aw, thank you, I know who you are and will miss you, however, this blog has a podcast set up that I may do now and then. If I do a long chat I’ll record my voice and do the podcast, right now I’m doing shorts. I didn’t leave YT because of the crazies, they are a tiny number. I left because I crave those days before all this media and being bombarded with stuff. I want to truly be in the present with my boys that are growing too fast for me and I need to figure out this garden. I understand how you feel. I have succumbed to the lonely life. Many people are either addicted to something, not mentally healthy or negative. We are so selective about who we spend time with that it is not many. I now just prefer the boys and dogs to any one else. I am embracing hermit life but I also have my writing that keeps me very busy. Check in now and then.💖☕

    Like

  8. But we miss your pretty face and watching your beautiful children grow up into handsome young men. At least post some photos from time to time. You have a blessed life you must sustain. You are my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s