Good morning to you all! Bali and I have been very busy working on the house, from fixing all the bamboo flooring to painting the last of the rooms to continuing the processes of letting things go so others can enjoy them.
I have to do a deep clean this week and I was inspired by a local cleaning company. I was thinking a deep cleaning would be an excellent gift to myself for my 50th, but just thinking of the cost after reading their long web page encouraged me to do it myself.
The company sounded amazing, actually, it was a private, small business with house cleaners that took great pride in their work. They didn’t wear the Molly Maid type uniforms, just casual tshirts and jeans and they used words like ‘sparkle’ and ‘scrubbed spotless’. The reviews were glowing. I would hire them just to see what and how they do this fantastic house cleaning. I am in need of inspiration.
When you’ve been housecleaning for years, there is a luster lost over time. I used to clean houses for money as well. I always loved the most filthy home as it was so satisfying when the job was accomplished. There was no real reward in cleaning the clean house. I was a house cleaner during a very large life change and I worked through a lot of issues and old hurts as I scoured tubs and washed floors.
In The Art of Simple Living, by Shunmyo Masuno, he writes;
When someone criticizes us, we immediately feel wounded. When something unpleasant happens, we cannot get it out of our head. What can we do to bounce back? One way to strengthen the mind is through cleaning. When we clean, we use both our head and our body.
While what we learn from expending mental effort may be important, what our body learns from physical labor has a greater effect on mental strength.
Towards the end of the writing he adds;
When we work hard with our head , heart, and body, we cannot help but grow stronger.
And this is what we have been doing. Working to create a lovely space. I found that things were getting weird in my world. I felt tired and heavy of heart. I wasn’t surprised as I had begun a journey of purging and transforming my home and my inner self. When you do that you best prepare yourself for a journey that can be both exciting and frightening. We have to go through the storm to get to the other side of it. We have to embrace the dark as well as the light, the weeping as well as the laughter. There is no change or growth with perfect seasons.
So, things happened. We began fostering. I became weary of the strange things on cyber space and dealing with nastiness on my channels. I had begun a huge purging that appeared to be physical and the removing of solid obstacles such as couches and clothes, however, it was a deep, emotional cleansing. Everything that happened seemed to trigger old memories and pains.
I got on a roll with it. I dumped boxes of old photos that made my heart heart and stomach clench from the memories. I took old furniture I had from my childhood and put it on the street, clothes that I felt sloppy in, paintings that didn’t move me. As the house became lighter and more airy, I was forced to go deeper. Then I purged my blog, my channel, an old blog…I was on a roll. I may regret being so thorough in time, but right now it just feels like I want to be free of the old things and create anew.
The more I let go of, the more my spirits lift. The Universe continues to bring me experiences to awaken old feelings that need to be looked at and healed. I am in a state of surrender and release. The healing is very deep.
I go through this at every turn of a decade. I changed so much between 30 and 40, I was almost a completely different person at the end of that decade. The heaviest change was the last couple years before I turned 40. Today at 50, my life and my person is nothing like when I started out in this decade. The real intense shifts occur toward the last year or two.
I look at life like this, people pass on in their 50’s. In my 40’s I felt like I had decades, now I’m looking at a good 20 to 25 years of active life…if I really change the way I do things I could get another possible 10 years. This may sound morbid, but it really just wakes a person up to their life. It makes a person think hard on how they want to spend the next 10…20…30 years.
And then life becomes precious. It has a new meaning. It isn’t to be wasted. It is to be enjoyed and savored.
Fortunately, I have a life that was created in my 40’s that I love. I have young children, a writing career, a channel, a good husband, a solid house, some land. All these things will give me years of creative work.
And so, through the purging and cleaning, answers come, problems are resolved, and peace is made. I continue to spend quiet time going within, but more and more I’m working on silence. Letting the poor mind rest and renew.
I clean my house, I clean my mind. I am now preparing for the next decade before me.